Betrayal….I have tasted betrayal, I know how hurtful it is. I’ve even been guilty of it, God forgive me. I could offer excuses, but excuses change absolutely nothing.
I’ve struggled with how Judas betrayed Jesus. Perhaps because I’ve seen glimpses of myself in him…the selfish agenda, the ambition and preconceived ideas of personal greatness, position that would be gained by riding the coat-tails of Someone he thought would be a warrior king, toppling the Roman government and setting up a grand new Jewish reign. Judas wanted that. Who doesn’t want to be successful, and who doesn’t have their own definition of just what successful is?
The little band with Jesus carried a ‘moneybag’ with meager assets especially to help others. Judas was in charge of it, and misused it. “…he was a thief, as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.’ (John 12:6) How often do I misuse resources? How often do I put my desires above the needs of others?
I don’t like the end of this story. Judas changed his mind. He tried to un-do what he had done. “When Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders.” (Matt. 27:3)
Oh if only Judas had just come to Jesus with this…if only he had come clean to the One he had turned his back on in betrayal instead of turning to the religious and civil authorities, the priests and elders. Why do we do that same thing? Why can we not learn from this awful story that JESUS is the One to go to with all things?! Our organized governing bodies both religious and civil, can not remove our guilt…and be not mistaken, we all have guilt, and plenty of it. These entities can’t change the course of our lives. Jesus can. We will never be able to un-do what is wrong deep within us. Jesus can. And He longs to be allowed to do so.
I’m comforted in knowing that none of this took Jesus by surprise. He knew the end of the story before the story ever began, before He stepped from the throne of glory into a tiny body of flesh birthed from Mary’s womb. He knew Judas’ heart when He included Him in the inner circle. And He used even the disobedience, the rejection, and ultimate betrayal to achieve the purposes of God from the very beginning of time….the bringing about of the possibility of our restored relationship.
Here’s what I hope….I hope that before Judas’ last breath, he cried out to God in total belief that Jesus was Who He said He was, even though all of that looked different than Judas had expected and wished for. And I’m thankful that God can and will judge Judas’ heart, judging it right…just as He will judge the thief that hung on the cross next to Jesus.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Offense
Offense…I am offended today. Something was called to my attention that offended me. I felt insulted and immediately angry. So now what…?
The thing that offends me has no power over me really….unless I grant it. The question I am faced with is how I will respond. Do I rise to meet it? Challenge it? Maybe I’ll just rise up above it…raise the bar even. Maybe I will retaliate, seek revenge.
Or… do I just bow to it? Ignore it? Turn the other cheek yet again?
There have been many times when I have just simply reacted in situations like this. There are too many times when I do not channel offenses thru my Advocate. (1 John 2:1) He is my Defender. He is the One to Whom I should go with every thing that offends me.
Sometimes I have found that the things that offend me often reveal to me some ugliness that needs to be dealt with. Perhaps that is why He allowed it in the first place. I know that as His child. “The Lord knows those who are His.”(2Tim. 2:19) I am sealed, (Eph. 4:30) and nothing comes against me that I can not bear with His aid. “No temptation has seized me except what is common to man. God is faithful, He will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear, but when I am tempted, He will also provide a way out so that I can stand up under it.” (1Cor. 10:13)
I can know no offense that my Lord does not know better. He washed the feet of the very one who would only moments later betray Him. Jesus had every right many times over to lash out in righteous indignation…He was insulted personally time and time again. The only time I recall in scripture where He showed any indignation was over the way His Father’s temple was being dishonored….and that incident was of no personal insult, but an insult to His Father.
Yep…I’m insulted….and trying to wait until I understand from Him where to go from here.
The thing that offends me has no power over me really….unless I grant it. The question I am faced with is how I will respond. Do I rise to meet it? Challenge it? Maybe I’ll just rise up above it…raise the bar even. Maybe I will retaliate, seek revenge.
Or… do I just bow to it? Ignore it? Turn the other cheek yet again?
There have been many times when I have just simply reacted in situations like this. There are too many times when I do not channel offenses thru my Advocate. (1 John 2:1) He is my Defender. He is the One to Whom I should go with every thing that offends me.
Sometimes I have found that the things that offend me often reveal to me some ugliness that needs to be dealt with. Perhaps that is why He allowed it in the first place. I know that as His child. “The Lord knows those who are His.”(2Tim. 2:19) I am sealed, (Eph. 4:30) and nothing comes against me that I can not bear with His aid. “No temptation has seized me except what is common to man. God is faithful, He will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear, but when I am tempted, He will also provide a way out so that I can stand up under it.” (1Cor. 10:13)
I can know no offense that my Lord does not know better. He washed the feet of the very one who would only moments later betray Him. Jesus had every right many times over to lash out in righteous indignation…He was insulted personally time and time again. The only time I recall in scripture where He showed any indignation was over the way His Father’s temple was being dishonored….and that incident was of no personal insult, but an insult to His Father.
Yep…I’m insulted….and trying to wait until I understand from Him where to go from here.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Hugs...
Hugs……What is a hug? Isn’t it just squeezing? It’s done with the arms…Wikipedia says it’s a demonstration of affection, a form of physical intimacy.
The word ‘hug’ just came to me this morning. Isn’t worship like a hug? It is a physical expression. Love without expression…can it even exist? When we see our children and grandchildren, can we help but express our affection? Our hearts feel as if they will explode if we can’t somehow communicate this fullness inside us.
God’s love for us is expressed by our very existence on this planet, expressed by everything in our reality, given to us as a gift of love, prepared even before He created us. He even went to the great length of stepping off of heaven’s throne and into this created realm, knowing death in our stead, in the Person of Jesus Christ.
I can hug a pillow. But there is no expressing of anything deep within me in doing so. I can hug a person and it be meaningless. No…the motion of the arms doesn’t make it a hug..it’s the communication and warmth of heart that makes it a hug. My grand-daughter sometimes hugs like that…just to appease me but she’s really too busy to be bothered about it…she’ll squeeze with her arms really quick, and off she goes. The hug I want is the one I didn’t ask or beg for…the one freely given, the one she enjoyed as much as I did.
So too, worship is not a physical activity. It is not something that can be touched or even observed.. It happens within my attitude, my spirit, my ‘heart’. It is more than human emotion, or even the surrender of my personal will. There is a relationship…a reaching out from my heart to the heart of God, and a response!! A response of God’s spirit within me…to the Spirit of Himself…‘Deep calling to deep..”(Ps. 42:7) It NEEDS to be expressed. It yearns to be received by The One Whom we hug.
Abba, Father…Daddy !! ‘ Because you are sons (and daughters), God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit Who calls out ‘Abba, Father.’ (Galatians 4:6 personalized by me).
His Spirit ‘testifies with our spirit..’(Romans 8:16)
The purpose of worship is not to somehow ingratiate myself….not only can that not be done, it is not necessary. God loved me when I was yet a sinner…(Romans 5:8) I can’t provide a service to God …He ‘needs not to be worshipped with men’s hands as though He needs any thing’ (Acts17:25)
I need not attempt to pay my own debt , which is the curse of death, the death I deserve because of the imperfect condition I find myself in. My expressions of devotion do not change my condition. He does. How I praise Him this morning for the depths of His love, and that He allows me these small A-HA!! moments with Him.……
He is so very good.
The word ‘hug’ just came to me this morning. Isn’t worship like a hug? It is a physical expression. Love without expression…can it even exist? When we see our children and grandchildren, can we help but express our affection? Our hearts feel as if they will explode if we can’t somehow communicate this fullness inside us.
God’s love for us is expressed by our very existence on this planet, expressed by everything in our reality, given to us as a gift of love, prepared even before He created us. He even went to the great length of stepping off of heaven’s throne and into this created realm, knowing death in our stead, in the Person of Jesus Christ.
I can hug a pillow. But there is no expressing of anything deep within me in doing so. I can hug a person and it be meaningless. No…the motion of the arms doesn’t make it a hug..it’s the communication and warmth of heart that makes it a hug. My grand-daughter sometimes hugs like that…just to appease me but she’s really too busy to be bothered about it…she’ll squeeze with her arms really quick, and off she goes. The hug I want is the one I didn’t ask or beg for…the one freely given, the one she enjoyed as much as I did.
So too, worship is not a physical activity. It is not something that can be touched or even observed.. It happens within my attitude, my spirit, my ‘heart’. It is more than human emotion, or even the surrender of my personal will. There is a relationship…a reaching out from my heart to the heart of God, and a response!! A response of God’s spirit within me…to the Spirit of Himself…‘Deep calling to deep..”(Ps. 42:7) It NEEDS to be expressed. It yearns to be received by The One Whom we hug.
Abba, Father…Daddy !! ‘ Because you are sons (and daughters), God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit Who calls out ‘Abba, Father.’ (Galatians 4:6 personalized by me).
His Spirit ‘testifies with our spirit..’(Romans 8:16)
The purpose of worship is not to somehow ingratiate myself….not only can that not be done, it is not necessary. God loved me when I was yet a sinner…(Romans 5:8) I can’t provide a service to God …He ‘needs not to be worshipped with men’s hands as though He needs any thing’ (Acts17:25)
I need not attempt to pay my own debt , which is the curse of death, the death I deserve because of the imperfect condition I find myself in. My expressions of devotion do not change my condition. He does. How I praise Him this morning for the depths of His love, and that He allows me these small A-HA!! moments with Him.……
He is so very good.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Worship...
Worship…Webster says it means to pay divine honors to the Supreme Being; to honor with extravagant love and extreme submission, to respect and venerate.
The words in the scriptures of the Old Testament seem to refer to a reverent attitude of the mind or the body, sometimes both of them combined. There are several Hebrew words that are used to communicate this ‘worship’ concept. Several Greek words are used in the New Testament as well. So many I will need much more time than my regular morning quiet time to discern.
What is this thing we so casually today call ‘worship’. Is it something I perform? Something to be ‘done’? CAN I even ‘do’ the thing?
What is the purpose? Who decides what it is, how it is accomplished? Is there a certain standard?
I can not articulate my thoughts on this yet…I’m still searching the heart of God about it. And asking Him to search mine….
The words in the scriptures of the Old Testament seem to refer to a reverent attitude of the mind or the body, sometimes both of them combined. There are several Hebrew words that are used to communicate this ‘worship’ concept. Several Greek words are used in the New Testament as well. So many I will need much more time than my regular morning quiet time to discern.
What is this thing we so casually today call ‘worship’. Is it something I perform? Something to be ‘done’? CAN I even ‘do’ the thing?
What is the purpose? Who decides what it is, how it is accomplished? Is there a certain standard?
I can not articulate my thoughts on this yet…I’m still searching the heart of God about it. And asking Him to search mine….
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Glory
Glory…just what does that mean? Webster says it’s brightness and splendor. The word in the original language that is translated ‘glory’ is ‘doxa’. It means honor, praise, dignity…that which reflects, expresses or exhibits dignity.
‘God is not a man…’(Numbers 23:19) He is not like us, no matter how we try to get Him into the box with us, He is not in the box of our reality. He made everything we know…everything IN our reality was simply spoken into existence. ‘By the word of the Lord were the heavens made, and all the host of them by the breath of His mouth.; (Psalm 33:6) From the tiniest of cells to the vastness of the galaxies, ‘God’s invisible qualities, His eternal power and divine nature, are clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.’ (Romans 1:20) All we need to do is look around, or look up into the night sky. There is His glory, clearly seen indeed.
No, He doesn’t need me to glorify Him. He has no need. He IS glory, whether I acknowledge it or not. But He wants me to acknowledge Him for Who He is. He wants the best for each of us, He created us ! And He didn’t create us to watch us suffer. Neither do I have anything to offer Him to make Him bigger and better.
He has gone to such great lengths to communicate Himself to me, to show Himself to me so that I might know Him. He came in flesh in the Person of Jesus Christ to communicate His sacrificial love, that love itself glorified, as Jesus’ blood ran down the cross, Him dying instead of me…taking the penalty for what I have done.
I continue to try to grasp the depth of His glory. Paul prayed for me, and for you, that we might ‘grasp how wide and how long and how high and how deep is the love of Christ, to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that we might be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.’ (Ephesians 3:18) It is ME that needs to glorify Him. I am the one lacking, the one with the sin problem, the one who makes wrong choices and bad decisions. He is God. The Perfect One, The I AM.
Glory !!
‘God is not a man…’(Numbers 23:19) He is not like us, no matter how we try to get Him into the box with us, He is not in the box of our reality. He made everything we know…everything IN our reality was simply spoken into existence. ‘By the word of the Lord were the heavens made, and all the host of them by the breath of His mouth.; (Psalm 33:6) From the tiniest of cells to the vastness of the galaxies, ‘God’s invisible qualities, His eternal power and divine nature, are clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.’ (Romans 1:20) All we need to do is look around, or look up into the night sky. There is His glory, clearly seen indeed.
No, He doesn’t need me to glorify Him. He has no need. He IS glory, whether I acknowledge it or not. But He wants me to acknowledge Him for Who He is. He wants the best for each of us, He created us ! And He didn’t create us to watch us suffer. Neither do I have anything to offer Him to make Him bigger and better.
He has gone to such great lengths to communicate Himself to me, to show Himself to me so that I might know Him. He came in flesh in the Person of Jesus Christ to communicate His sacrificial love, that love itself glorified, as Jesus’ blood ran down the cross, Him dying instead of me…taking the penalty for what I have done.
I continue to try to grasp the depth of His glory. Paul prayed for me, and for you, that we might ‘grasp how wide and how long and how high and how deep is the love of Christ, to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that we might be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.’ (Ephesians 3:18) It is ME that needs to glorify Him. I am the one lacking, the one with the sin problem, the one who makes wrong choices and bad decisions. He is God. The Perfect One, The I AM.
Glory !!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Birth
Birth… 27 years ago was a birthing day for me. Right about now (7:30 a.m.) Kerry and I were deep into that Lamaze breathing stuff. If he missed a breath, so did I…pushing instead ! Poor Kerry was hoarse by the time it was all over. I was exhausted..
I relive my birthing days every year. I don’t know if all mothers do that…but I relive both of mine. I remember what we did the hours before it started, details about the people who were present. I remember that it hurt, …but I don’t remember the way it felt. And I remember the infant son born from my body, nuzzling against me, knowing me…..knowing that I was his mother…that I was the source of his nourishment. I remember looking into their little face, looking deep into their eyes, as they looked for the first time at the grand new world.
Spiritual birth is reality. Just as our physical birth brings us into the world of our parents, so does spiritual birth usher us into a spiritual realm, the realm of Jesus Christ and the very kingdom of our Father God. ’Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.’ (John 3:6)
‘..flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God..(1 Cor. 15:50) It doesn’t matter how strong you are, how talented you are, how determined you are…you can’t be part of what God is involved in, can’t be inside the gates of this kingdom, without this new birth.
I am spiritually reborn…..and I know where my nourishment comes from. I labored in the process, not understanding…trying to stay where I was, yet grasp the spiritual realm as well. I guess being confined inside the religious predicament I was in offered some sort of security…but a baby can’t stay in the confines of the womb…it must be born, or die.
I am so thankful to know the reality of spiritual birth. I’m so secure in the love of my Father. He is so faithful in His care for me, nourishing me, teaching me, even His disciplining me.
It’s a grand new world, this kingdom of God.
I relive my birthing days every year. I don’t know if all mothers do that…but I relive both of mine. I remember what we did the hours before it started, details about the people who were present. I remember that it hurt, …but I don’t remember the way it felt. And I remember the infant son born from my body, nuzzling against me, knowing me…..knowing that I was his mother…that I was the source of his nourishment. I remember looking into their little face, looking deep into their eyes, as they looked for the first time at the grand new world.
Spiritual birth is reality. Just as our physical birth brings us into the world of our parents, so does spiritual birth usher us into a spiritual realm, the realm of Jesus Christ and the very kingdom of our Father God. ’Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.’ (John 3:6)
‘..flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God..(1 Cor. 15:50) It doesn’t matter how strong you are, how talented you are, how determined you are…you can’t be part of what God is involved in, can’t be inside the gates of this kingdom, without this new birth.
I am spiritually reborn…..and I know where my nourishment comes from. I labored in the process, not understanding…trying to stay where I was, yet grasp the spiritual realm as well. I guess being confined inside the religious predicament I was in offered some sort of security…but a baby can’t stay in the confines of the womb…it must be born, or die.
I am so thankful to know the reality of spiritual birth. I’m so secure in the love of my Father. He is so faithful in His care for me, nourishing me, teaching me, even His disciplining me.
It’s a grand new world, this kingdom of God.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Relationship...
Relationship…that word has popped into conversations from all directions…for days. I’ve been trying to listen this morning, asking God to help me understand more fully.. deeper. Surely He is speaking to me about something specific…
My husband and I discussed relationship at great length a few nights ago. It seems God is dealing with him about relationship stuff too…woke him up in the night, this relationship topic heavy on his mind.
My friend and sister in Christ brought it up again, this time in the Sunday school class she leads. She introduced an illustration that was new to me…a triangle , depicting 3 components in our relationship with God. Covenant, knowledge, and worship.
It keeps coming back to my mind…what does my triangle look like? Balanced on all 3 sides? Or not?
In our covenant with God, we enter into a commitment. He certainly made a more costly commitment…the blood covenant of Jesus Christ. I enter into this covenant on the merit of Jesus’ blood. Not my own. I can’t speak for you, but I am committed to Him. I fail miserably and often, but the intent from the depths of my heart is to be fully committed to Him in every facet of my being, every moment of my day, every word and action…
I’m not happy about everything I find in my heart when I begin to examine it, and examine my commitment. It’s a daily choice. Thankfully, God never has the issues that I struggle with, and He even helps me overcome my own inability to live up to the commitment I make to Him, giving me His Spirit as divine Helper and Comforter… (which makes me love Him even more…and makes me want even more passionately to commit every part of my being in obedience to Him and cooperation with Him).
My knowledge is more than some I guess…definitely not a short side of my triangle. I have studied quite a bit…been churched since….well, I don’t remember NOT being churched ! I like to read, and have read a lot of books. Some deeper than others, but most of what I’ve read is of a spiritual nature. I’m in my 7th year of Bible Study Fellowship…studied the Bible a lot, and know how to use a lot of available resources.
But that’s all book knowledge…head knowledge. Facts. For many years, I didn’t know God. Even though I was thoroughly churched. I knew about God. (scared to death of Him really..) But I didn’t really know HIM.. I had no intimacy with Who He really is, didn’t know His great love for me. ME. The real me. He does love me. And He loves you.
I am learning about worship. I believe my triangle is short on this side. That is what I’m waiting to hear from Him about. He’s begun to speak…just little hints so far…Oh, He doesn’t need my love….doesn’t need my worship. His ego doesn’t need bolstering. He knows full well that He is God. It is me who benefits.
Worship brings me into a deeper intimacy with Him, and I am safe to go there.
And so blessed…
My husband and I discussed relationship at great length a few nights ago. It seems God is dealing with him about relationship stuff too…woke him up in the night, this relationship topic heavy on his mind.
My friend and sister in Christ brought it up again, this time in the Sunday school class she leads. She introduced an illustration that was new to me…a triangle , depicting 3 components in our relationship with God. Covenant, knowledge, and worship.
It keeps coming back to my mind…what does my triangle look like? Balanced on all 3 sides? Or not?
In our covenant with God, we enter into a commitment. He certainly made a more costly commitment…the blood covenant of Jesus Christ. I enter into this covenant on the merit of Jesus’ blood. Not my own. I can’t speak for you, but I am committed to Him. I fail miserably and often, but the intent from the depths of my heart is to be fully committed to Him in every facet of my being, every moment of my day, every word and action…
I’m not happy about everything I find in my heart when I begin to examine it, and examine my commitment. It’s a daily choice. Thankfully, God never has the issues that I struggle with, and He even helps me overcome my own inability to live up to the commitment I make to Him, giving me His Spirit as divine Helper and Comforter… (which makes me love Him even more…and makes me want even more passionately to commit every part of my being in obedience to Him and cooperation with Him).
My knowledge is more than some I guess…definitely not a short side of my triangle. I have studied quite a bit…been churched since….well, I don’t remember NOT being churched ! I like to read, and have read a lot of books. Some deeper than others, but most of what I’ve read is of a spiritual nature. I’m in my 7th year of Bible Study Fellowship…studied the Bible a lot, and know how to use a lot of available resources.
But that’s all book knowledge…head knowledge. Facts. For many years, I didn’t know God. Even though I was thoroughly churched. I knew about God. (scared to death of Him really..) But I didn’t really know HIM.. I had no intimacy with Who He really is, didn’t know His great love for me. ME. The real me. He does love me. And He loves you.
I am learning about worship. I believe my triangle is short on this side. That is what I’m waiting to hear from Him about. He’s begun to speak…just little hints so far…Oh, He doesn’t need my love….doesn’t need my worship. His ego doesn’t need bolstering. He knows full well that He is God. It is me who benefits.
Worship brings me into a deeper intimacy with Him, and I am safe to go there.
And so blessed…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)