Before...

Before… I was thinner, before. I had less wrinkles, before. I had more years ahead of me, before. Before today, I was younger….

On this day of my birth 56 years ago, I come to the section of verses 65-72 in my study of Psalm 119 . This passage speaks so much to me personally today, both in encouragement, and in reprimand. Some much too personal to share in an open forum….


I pray with David this morning, “LORD, be good to me as you have promised.
Increase my knowledge and give me good sense, because I believe in your commands…”

Good sense…. Notice how that phrase is followed with ‘because’and connected to more of the sentence? Where does good sense come from? Certainly not years…not necessarily !

One of the phrases you may hear me say is ‘young and ignorant’. The younger we are, the less life experiences we have, therefore…ignorance. You just can NOT know what you do not know.

Each year that passes, I again reflect on how ignorant I am….recognizing again just how little I know and understand.

God HAS blessed me with knowledge and understanding, for I know and understand so much more than I did at one time.

Yet as I grow older I am faced with the reality of how powerless we really are, how utterly helpless to control any single thing except our OWN choices. And those are difficult…


I believe the wisdom that age brings is this very thing…being wise enough to know how ignorant you really are.

I have many flaws, many wrong thoughts, many wrong motive. I have made many wrong choices. I have caused suffering, and I have suffered.

I regret causing pain. And while I do not like pain, the suffering I have personally experienced has brought me much good. “Before I went through suffering, I went down the wrong path. But now I obey your word…….It was good for me to suffer. That's what helped me to understand your orders. ” (vs.67,71)

How thankful I am for His forgiveness, and that He doesn’t leave me to my own resources.

Father, help me to follow Your way with every part of me….nothing held back, never in my own effort, but always and only depending on You to orchestrate my life. Help me trust You more completely.

Lifestyle...

Lifestyle… I recall they made a television show about the lifestyles of the ‘rich and famous’….

I’m not rich and famous, so I don’t have a lifestyle like was portrayed on that show. Our house is fairly small and quite plain. But it is ours. We don’t have those fancy cars, but ours are dependable and comfortable.

Then again, what is the measuring stick for fancy? Pricetag? Seems in our culture, we measure most everything by it’s price tag…

I am not famous, then again, I am important to the God of the universe, so important that He came down to rescue me.

I am not rich, then again, I have never known hunger, never been without clothing, never without a home and safe transportation.

Maybe I am rich and famous after all….



This morning, as I continue to reflect on Psalm 119, I am drawn to verse 59.

“I have thought about the way I live……”

It is a good thing to honestly reflect on the way we live.

Honestly….oh boy, that’s the kicker. It is not easy to be honest with ourselves, it is tempting and so easy to rationalize our wrong attitudes and decisions.

After all, our own heart will trick us….scripture warns that it is deceitful. (Jer.17:9) (…so ‘following your heart’ isn’t such a good idea always!)

How do I live?

Do I put others needs before my own? Whose rules of engagement do I follow? Do I make up the rules to suit myself, making them up as I go, to benefit me?

Who/what determines how I use the money I have? Do I spend my money to bless others or only myself? Do I use my money to manipulate? Do I put my own price tags on? Do I use my money in effort to pay off my other bad behavior?


“….I have decided to follow your covenant laws.” (Ps.119:59b)

Lord God help me to let You be the boss today. YOU be the Commander in chief, YOU be the decision maker, and help me to bend my stubborn prideful will to Yours. Your way is always right and best. I have learned that so painfully, and forget it so easily….

Horrified...

Horrified…. I was warned that I would be. I was…

Yesterday I made it my business to find out what all the hoopla is about a certain reality show. I don’t watch much television programming, especially the craze of reality shows, I already have enough reality to suit me thank- you-very-much. Besides, it should really be called exaggerated reality. Surely people don’t really live and act like that….

Or do they?

I am far from perfect. So very far.. But God help me to never accept the flaws, help me to continue to be a better person, more like You. Especially help me to never embrace the flaws, never allow me to celebrate the imperfections….allow me no joy in that.

As I continue to reflect on Psalm 119, verse 53 from the next section stood spoke to me in my horrified state…. “Horror hath taken hold upon me because of the wicked that forsake thy law.”

What little I saw was offensive to me, but that’s not the deal.

The deal is that so many people live an absolute Godless life. They revel in it. And have no idea how miserable they really are…

It reminds me of the years I suffered before having surgery to remove diseased female organs. I had absolutely no idea how sick I was, how awful I felt all the time, because it was my normal. I didn’t know anything else…ever. When it was removed and I began to get healthier, I was horrified that I suffered so much for so long. (Thank You God for hysterectomies!)

People without God have no idea how sick they are. And tragically, the symptoms of sin sickness lead to an eternal death.

People are without God simply because they choose to not know Him. And He is the most amazing, awesome Person….

He knows every thing…has every thing…can do every thing…

Why are there so many people who are not the least bit interested?


“….. people have turned away from your law. No matter where I live, I sing about your orders. LORD, during the night I remember who you are. That's why I keep your law.
I have really done my best to obey your rules.” (Psalm 119:53-56NIrV)



I want always to remember Who You are. Help me that no matter where I am I will remember Your Presence with me. You see and hear every thought, every word, every act. And You want only the best for me. Always and only the very best….

Then....

Then…. Webster says, ‘next in order of time’ . Reading that definition, I think of that cliché’ ‘First things first’..…

So often we get last things first.

Reflecting on verses 41-48 of Psalm 119, I am impressed with the order that should be in place in our lives. Knowing and understanding the love of God is paramount. THAT is the first thing….and sadly, I think there are a whole lot of people who don’t have a clue about the love of our Creator.

God’s love, His promises, the salvation He provides, then the ‘then’….

“May your unfailing love come to me, LORD, your salvation, according to your promise;
then I can answer anyone who taunts me, for I trust in your word. (Psalm 119:41-42)

I am convinced that once we are secure in the love of God, trusting completely that what He says is always and only good and best, our will changes, our ‘want-to’ changes…

It makes absolutely no sense in the world’s way of thinking, but the free-est freedom we can experience is obedience to God.

Again I pray with David…I pray that I put first things first. Always…


“Let your love, GOD, shape my life with salvation, exactly as you promised;
THEN, I'll be able to stand up to mockery because I trusted your Word….your commandments are what I depend on.

I'll guard with my life what you've revealed to me…And I'll stride freely through wide open spaces as I look for your truth and your wisdom; Then I'll tell the world what I find, speak out boldly in public, unembarrassed.

I cherish your commandments--oh, how I love them!--
relishing every fragment of your counsel.” (Ps. 119:41-48 The Message)

First things first…..

THEN……

Priorities...

Priorities… It is so easy to get them wrong. Why do we so often put value on something worthless…

Reflecting on the fifth section of Psalm 119, I am drawn to verse 37, “Turn my eyes away from things that are worthless….keep me alive as You have promised.”

It is difficult to keep priorities in order. It is easy to be deceived and believe a lie about the worth of some ‘thing’.

We mistakenly think that in ‘things’ we secure ourselves somehow.…then the enemy comes with accusations, pointing out the mistakes and the foolishness, urging us in some new direction where he tells us that security might be found.

The enemy of our souls would have us continue to seek fulfillment and life down those empty paths he points out. Paths that take us in the opposite direction of God and true life.

In the words of this Psalm, David prays for divine perspective and divine restraint.

Tonight, I also pray for those.

I pray that my eyes do not look upon worthless things and believe them to have more value than they do.

I pray that the habits and manners of my life do not divert or detour me from the life God intends for me.

Father, I pray that in YOUR way, You will give me life, and empower me to see the richness of it. And I thank You for the magnificent wealth of my now….

Worn out...

Worn out… Tired. Old and tired….

I say it jokingly almost daily….that I’m old and tired. It becomes more true all the time !

Reflecting on verses 25-32 of Psalm 119, I am drawn to verse 28... “My sadness has worn me out. Give me strength as you have promised.”

On nights like this when sleep leaves too soon, I am left to be awake with my thoughts, and my mind is sometimes assaulted by those nasty flaming arrows of the Accuser. Liar that he is… ‘You should have…’ ‘You could have…’ ‘You didn’t…’ ‘You’ll never…’

My sadness wears me out. Father, give me strength as You have promised.


I recognize them sooner that I once did, but the accusations and lies of the enemy still sting.

Praise God I do recognize them, and that I have learned that although ‘.. I do live in the world…. I don't fight my battles the way the people of the world do. The weapons I fight with are not the weapons the world uses. In fact, it is just the opposite. My weapons have the power of God to destroy the camps of the enemy. I destroy every claim and every reason that keeps people from knowing God. I keep every thought under control in order to make it obey Christ. (2Cor. 10:3-5 NIrV)


“I have chosen to be faithful to you. I put my trust in your laws.” (Ps. 119:30NIrV)


“I'll run the course you lay out for me if you'll just show me how”
(Psalm 119:32 The Message)

And He will….

“I have put myself under God's mighty hand….I turn all my worries over to Him. He cares about me….. He always gives me all the grace I need. So I will only have to suffer for a little while. Then God Himself will build me up again. He will make me strong and steady…” (1Peter 5:6,10NIrV personalized for me, by me)

Hallelujah.

Truth...

Truth… There is absolute truth. You might believe a devil’s lie, you might be deceived, you may question it…but nothing changes truth. Who gets to define what truth it?…..

God. Absolutely.

It has been demonstrated to humanity that we are subject to believing lies, prone to try to over-rule truth, making it what we decide it should be. But all those efforts are useless…and thinking we have prevailed in it will eventually be obvious to us. Painfully obvious. We do well to admit our foolishness and rebellion sooner rather than later….

In my study of Psalm 119, in the third section of 8 verses, I am drawn to verse 18.…

“Open my eyes so that I can see the wonderful truths in your law.”

Eve was deceived and believed a lie. I do not want to be like my mother Eve.


“Your covenant laws are my delight. They give me wise advice.”(verse 24) Truth is hard sometimes. Truth about myself is often very hard. And very ugly… certainly not delightful.

I am thankful to have come to know Jesus well enough that even when He shows me hard ugly things, I hear Him speak with a Voice of love and not condemnation.

I know that He is not mean and nasty…I know that what He says IS true, and that He wants only what is good and better for me.

But I do not forget that what He says is truth. Whether I like it, or whether I don’t. Whether I choose to make my decisions accordingly, or whether I try to re-define it.

What He says, IS.

Absolutely.

Lord, open my eyes and make me see the wisdom of what you say. Help me to see the folly of ignoring or refusing truth…..