Birth Day

Birthday… Today is mine. It is also what I call my mother’s ‘birthing’ day…the day she gave birth….to me.

I have two birthing days. Two sons, healthy baby boys, born just a few minutes before nine o’clock in the morning after a long night of hard labor, 6 ½ years apart. Every year when those birth days come around I re-live the hours before, during, and after…remembering.

Today, 55 years ago, my mother was alone in an army hospital hundreds of miles away from any family or friend except for my daddy….and he wasn’t allowed in the room. (things are so different now, thankfully…)

Going thru childbirth for the first time, not knowing what to expect, alone with the pains except for strangers… Thank You God that You were there with my young mother.

I don’t remember that day, but it happened. Obviously.

I also don’t remember the day of my spiritual birth. I remember the day I was baptized. (two of them actually…) I remember times of repentance, times of knowing His Presence intimately… I recall definite times of change, times when I knew that I knew His direction and answers, times when His Voice was almost audible to my ears and not just to my spirit.

I don’t remember the moment of my spiritual birth. But it happened. Obviously.

“He gave me birth through the word of truth, that I might be a kind of first fruit of all He created.” (James 1:18)
“Praise be to the God and Father of my Lord Jesus Christ ! In His great mercy He has given me new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade…”(1 Peter 1:3,4)

There was a long time that I questioned my spiritual birth…my salvation… Am I saved? Have I been re-born? I don’t remember an event.
Perhaps it is different for you. And that’s ok, even great ! For me…it was a process. Somewhere along the way, I was ‘born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring Word of God.’ (1 Peter 1:23)

Somewhere along the way, amid my struggle to re-create myself, trying to ‘fix’ all that was terribly wrong…I got out of the way long enough for God to do His work in me. I got tired enough to surrender the fight, accept that I was defeated in the battle against sin, keep the desire to have victory over it, yet look for victory from The One Who died to offer it to me.


Hallelujah, What a Savior !

Thank You Lord Jesus on this, my birthday…for Your birthing me…whatever that date was.

It happened.

It is obvious to me.

Cheqer tabawn....

Cheqer tabuwn … In Hebrew, it means finding out knowledge…

Isaiah says that we can not fathom God’s knowledge or His understanding. “ Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth……………. and His understanding no one can fathom.” (Isa. 40:28)

But I try. I’m not the smartest gal around…but I’m smarter than I was. I’m not the wisest, but I’ve gained in wisdom. I don’t understand everything, but I understand a great deal more than I once did.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. All who follow His precepts have good understanding…” (Ps. 111:10) Fear was the beginning. Thank You God, that isn’t all there is.

I’ll never know as much as God knows. But I have knowledge OF HIM. And ‘if I call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, if I look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, I will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom…He holds victory in store…He is a shield…He gaurds the course…He protects the way…” (Pro. 2, selected passages, personalized by me)

I must ‘turn my ear to wisdom and apply my heart to understanding.’ Seems that often I listen for only what I want to hear. “ …since you would not accept my advice and you spurned my rebuke, you will eat the fruit of your way and be filled with the fruit of your scheme…” Ouch.

Better leave my schemes out of it, ya think?

“Trust in Me with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, Connie. In ALL your ways acknowledge Me, and I will make your paths straight.”
(Pro. 3:5 personalized by me)

Pretty...

Pretty... Pretty is as pretty does.

When I was younger, I heard my grandmother say this, and countless others...and knew they were advising me to behave properly, be nice, be polite, smile and say please and thank you, etc. etc. etc.


"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7

I've spent the last 35 years doing what I can do to improve appearances. Shaping a haircut to compliment and balance a face, using color to brighten a face, covering up the natural signs of aging (gray hair!! shudder.....)

I've practiced my craft, I've gotten a lot of education, know a lot of 'stuff' about what I do, how to do it and why. But only the outward appearance is changed. And while it is true that the outward appearance affects the way we feel about ourselves, it doesn't really change anything that is inside us. It doesn't change who we are.

I can change appearance, but only God can change a heart. And He is so very good at what He does.

Light...

Light... I caught myself complaining this morning about the lack of sunshine. Why is it that when the sun is not shining bright, I tend to be sluggish? grumpy? lazy?

Jesus said "I am the Light" He has shown me this morning that when I allow 'clouds' to rise up between us, that I suffer. Very often, issues and concerns rise up that I am powerless to remove. He is able. My choice is to look at the clouds, or to ask Him to shine His Light thru those clouds.

He has promised and He is faithful. I most often ask for Him to remove the cloud....and often He does. There are other times when He does not, but He provides the warmth and light to get thru it...sustaining me....and what a joy to feel that Light shining on my face again.

He is so good

Personal Trainer....

Personal Trainer… a person who works one-on-one with a client to plan or implement an exercise or fitness regimen….

People hire them when they want to lose weight or change their body condition and they can’t seem to accomplish it by themselves for whatever reason. Maybe they don’t work at it every day as they need to. Maybe they don’t perform the exercise correctly, opting instead for an easier way that doesn’t really stretch the muscle much. (..that’s me, if there is an easier way, I will find it.)

Sometimes more weight needs to be added. Other times, the weight needs to stay the same and the endurance level needs to be increased. Or maybe raise the tilt on the treadmill, same pace, same distance or time…but more uphill.

I don’t like any of it. I am sure I would like the result.

I have a personal Trainer. I don’t pay Him. He offers Himself to me freely. I love the results He has accomplished in me. Never want to go back to the shape I was once in. But sometimes I want to quit and just stay in ‘this’ shape. He pushes me on.

He allows me a break now and then, a time to ‘rest in the shadow’ (Ps. 91:1) But He does not allow me to quit. Even more, He does not allow me to WANT to quit for very long. He ‘renews my strength’ and helps me to ‘run and not grow weary, walk and not faint.’ (Isa. 40:31 personalized by me)

I often say that I am old and tired. But ‘ He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.’ (Isa. 40: 29-31 The Message)

I’m thankful for the faith muscles that I have. And I trust The Trainer when He adds a little weight, or increases the incline of the hill, or pushes me for another lap. He has shown to me that He knows what He’s doing.

Love...

Love.. Today is Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air….and the banner of love has been flying high, restaurants full of couples, and stores cashing in on the opportunity to sell merchandise designated for your ‘valentine’.

‘…He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.’ (Song of Solomon 2:4) The entirety of Solomon’s book is a romantic love story. It has lots of rich lessons for us, lessons about our relationships as husband and wife, and the love relationship that God has for us….the relationship that God WANTS us to be completely engaged in and committed to.

I’ve been married to my valentine since 1974. He treats me like a ’lily among thorns’ (S.of S.2:2) He makes me feel treasured and beautiful. I am secure knowing his love for me.

‘How great is the love the Father has lavished on me, that I should be called a child of God! And that is what I am !’ (1 John 3:1 personalized by me) I am secure in my marriage…my husband puts me as his top priority, nothing out-ranks me except God Himself.

How much more secure I am to be in the love of God. “His banner over me is love.” (S.of S. 2:4) God has stopped at nothing to communicate His love for me. Jesus left the perfection of heaven to step into a body of slowly dying flesh, just to communicate the love of God, to dwell among us, and to restore our relationship with Him back to the way it was…perfect and complete.

‘Taste and see…the lord is good..’ (Ps. 34:8)

‘Whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great love of the Lord.’
(Ps. 107:43) How I pray you really know Him….know His character, His perfect love for you. He is so good.

Covet...

Covet…..We don’t use that word. Maybe you use it, but it’s not in my vocabulary normally. I do know it’s one of those ‘thou shalt not’ things…

Chamad=covet in the original language. In the verb form, which is the acting out of this thing called chamad, it means to desire passionately or intensely, to take delight in something delectable. It expresses the idea of finding pleasure in something.

So why is it a ‘thou shalt not’ ? Is our God just mean and nasty and intends for us to not enjoy anything?

“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, nor thy neighbor’s wife, not his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor’s.”(Ex. 20:17) ‘Don’t set your heart on anything that is your neighbor’s.’(Ex.20:17 The Message)

You see, it’s not that we should not find pleasure….we’re just not to find it in the wrong places. Having the great house is ok…as long as we are not taking what we want from someone else. Are we sure the desire for the great house is not out of a wrong heart motive?

And who is a neighbor? Looking for a loophole? Jesus addressed that very thing in Luke 10. My conclusion is that my neighbor is anyone within the realm of my existence and opportunity of influence. Wherever the ripple effect of my decisions go…whoever it touches… that is my neighbor. I am not to undermine any other person in order to further the desires of my own heart.

This ‘thou shalt not’ has to do with our wanting and even planning to have what is someone else’s, and even getting it by whatever method necessary, at their expense. An extreme example is David’s coveting the wife of another man, and what David was capable of doing to have her. The story is told in 1 Samuel 11.

‘..David said ‘ put Uriah in the front line where the fighting in the fiercest, then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.’ (vs.15 NIV)

Whew…I’d surely not do anything that awful would you? ….Then the Lord answered my prayer about revealing to me the sin in my own heart so that I might truly repent and turn away from it, asking Him to forgive and remove the guilt. He did. It is ugly. I am so thankful that He will remove the ugliness and grow me up in the process.

You’ll have to examine your own heart prayerfully in His Presence. If you know His love, you’ll feel safe doing that. It’s not a pleasant thing to look on purpose at the ugliness within yourself. But I believe it is necessary for spiritual growth. God knows every detail of it anyway…it’s us that refuse to acknowledge the presence of it within us, we are the ones who hide our eyes and pretend it’s not there. We pretend that it will not be noticed, or will somehow go away and never effect our lives. Wrong. So wrong…