Love…Is it a feeling? Is it an emotion? Can it be achieved? Or is it super-natural zap from a little red cupid arrow?
What does it mean to love?
I read a line in a fictional story about a real person, Bathsheba. Speaking of the husband her father had chosen for her, ‘…I will show him the respect and obedience he deserves. But love cannot be commanded.” (Rivers, Francine (2009-01-10). A Lineage of Grace (p. 316). Tyndale House Publishers. Kindle Edition. )
Love can not be commanded? Hummm….tell that to Jesus.
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another (John 13:34)
The problem arises from our definition of the word. What do you consider love to BE?
Does it accompany physical attraction?
Jesus was NOT loved because of his physical attractiveness, regardless of how many pictures of a good looking man you see…..scripture is plain, “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. (Isa. 53:2)
I fear that in our culture, we misuse and overuse the word love. We say it quickly. We use it easily. And we forget we even say it….and something so easily forgotten can not be love.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Monday, August 1, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Disappointed....
Disappointed… You can’t be disappointed if you don’t have expectations.
I don’t know how you do that. How do you NOT have some sort of expectation?
I find that while trying to keep an opened mind, while not setting unrealistic expectations…I just end up having LOW expectations.
I suppose it’s better to be pleasantly surprised by having low expectations blown away…than it is to be sadly disappointed when high expectations are unmet.
I realize that I recently set some very low expectations.
I expected what I have experienced in the past. I expected that ‘same ole’ same ole’…..
What a pleasant surprise to have those expectations unmet !
What a joy to find that some ‘same ole’ things’ are not.
The apostle Paul had the dilemma as well. “I do admit that I have fears that when I come you'll disappoint me and I'll disappoint you, and in frustration with each other everything will fall to pieces-…(2Cor. 12:20 The Message)
I had a face-to-face meeting with a friend I‘d never met. I do admit that I had fears that when I came, I would disappoint him, and he would disappoint me…and that the friendship would fall to pieces….
I was tempted to opt out of the meeting.
I am so thankful that I did not.
I am so thankful that God’s people are one, regardless of the sign-out-front.
I am so thankful that my un-met friend now has skin on.
I am even thankful that God has shown me my sin in acting out of my own experience and passing judgment on others based solely on those experiences.
I don’t know how you do that. How do you NOT have some sort of expectation?
I find that while trying to keep an opened mind, while not setting unrealistic expectations…I just end up having LOW expectations.
I suppose it’s better to be pleasantly surprised by having low expectations blown away…than it is to be sadly disappointed when high expectations are unmet.
I realize that I recently set some very low expectations.
I expected what I have experienced in the past. I expected that ‘same ole’ same ole’…..
What a pleasant surprise to have those expectations unmet !
What a joy to find that some ‘same ole’ things’ are not.
The apostle Paul had the dilemma as well. “I do admit that I have fears that when I come you'll disappoint me and I'll disappoint you, and in frustration with each other everything will fall to pieces-…(2Cor. 12:20 The Message)
I had a face-to-face meeting with a friend I‘d never met. I do admit that I had fears that when I came, I would disappoint him, and he would disappoint me…and that the friendship would fall to pieces….
I was tempted to opt out of the meeting.
I am so thankful that I did not.
I am so thankful that God’s people are one, regardless of the sign-out-front.
I am so thankful that my un-met friend now has skin on.
I am even thankful that God has shown me my sin in acting out of my own experience and passing judgment on others based solely on those experiences.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Commitment....
Commitment…. It is not warm and fuzzy.
Feelings are often warm and fuzzy. At least to begin with…..
But commitment is a far cry from feelings.. The Bible teaches that love and commitment should develop together.
“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” “Don't stir up love. Don't wake it up until it's ready.” (Song of Songs 3:5 NIV and The Message)
We should not just act out of ‘feelings’. What we feel is not always true.
“A human heart is more dishonest than anything else. It can't be healed. Who can understand it? The LORD says, ‘I look deep down inside human hearts. I see what is in people's minds….” (Jer 17:9-10)
So often we discover that truth painfully. Having learned the hard way, we have picked forbidden fruit from our own ‘tree of knowledge of good and evil’. We chow down on it and have our eyes opened to the reality of evil. We look back on our mistakes and see that God’s way was right, and we were dreadfully wrong. Even though we ‘felt’ so sure.
And we bear the consequences….
God is Creator. He is The Designer. He is The Engineer. He drew up the plans and laid out the boundaries. Why is it we challenge His design?
Why are we so set against listening to Him? He wants so desperately to guide us. We are wise to follow His council.
Commitment and love must develop together. We should not arouse intimate relationships before there is a strong enough commitment to sustain the relationship.
Warm and fuzzy (....or hot and sweaty) won’t do it.
Feelings are often warm and fuzzy. At least to begin with…..
But commitment is a far cry from feelings.. The Bible teaches that love and commitment should develop together.
“Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” “Don't stir up love. Don't wake it up until it's ready.” (Song of Songs 3:5 NIV and The Message)
We should not just act out of ‘feelings’. What we feel is not always true.
“A human heart is more dishonest than anything else. It can't be healed. Who can understand it? The LORD says, ‘I look deep down inside human hearts. I see what is in people's minds….” (Jer 17:9-10)
So often we discover that truth painfully. Having learned the hard way, we have picked forbidden fruit from our own ‘tree of knowledge of good and evil’. We chow down on it and have our eyes opened to the reality of evil. We look back on our mistakes and see that God’s way was right, and we were dreadfully wrong. Even though we ‘felt’ so sure.
And we bear the consequences….
God is Creator. He is The Designer. He is The Engineer. He drew up the plans and laid out the boundaries. Why is it we challenge His design?
Why are we so set against listening to Him? He wants so desperately to guide us. We are wise to follow His council.
Commitment and love must develop together. We should not arouse intimate relationships before there is a strong enough commitment to sustain the relationship.
Warm and fuzzy (....or hot and sweaty) won’t do it.
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