Betrayal….I have tasted betrayal, I know how hurtful it is. I’ve even been guilty of it, God forgive me. I could offer excuses, but excuses change absolutely nothing.
I’ve struggled with how Judas betrayed Jesus. Perhaps because I’ve seen glimpses of myself in him…the selfish agenda, the ambition and preconceived ideas of personal greatness, position that would be gained by riding the coat-tails of Someone he thought would be a warrior king, toppling the Roman government and setting up a grand new Jewish reign. Judas wanted that. Who doesn’t want to be successful, and who doesn’t have their own definition of just what successful is?
The little band with Jesus carried a ‘moneybag’ with meager assets especially to help others. Judas was in charge of it, and misused it. “…he was a thief, as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.’ (John 12:6) How often do I misuse resources? How often do I put my desires above the needs of others?
I don’t like the end of this story. Judas changed his mind. He tried to un-do what he had done. “When Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty silver coins to the chief priests and the elders.” (Matt. 27:3)
Oh if only Judas had just come to Jesus with this…if only he had come clean to the One he had turned his back on in betrayal instead of turning to the religious and civil authorities, the priests and elders. Why do we do that same thing? Why can we not learn from this awful story that JESUS is the One to go to with all things?! Our organized governing bodies both religious and civil, can not remove our guilt…and be not mistaken, we all have guilt, and plenty of it. These entities can’t change the course of our lives. Jesus can. We will never be able to un-do what is wrong deep within us. Jesus can. And He longs to be allowed to do so.
I’m comforted in knowing that none of this took Jesus by surprise. He knew the end of the story before the story ever began, before He stepped from the throne of glory into a tiny body of flesh birthed from Mary’s womb. He knew Judas’ heart when He included Him in the inner circle. And He used even the disobedience, the rejection, and ultimate betrayal to achieve the purposes of God from the very beginning of time….the bringing about of the possibility of our restored relationship.
Here’s what I hope….I hope that before Judas’ last breath, he cried out to God in total belief that Jesus was Who He said He was, even though all of that looked different than Judas had expected and wished for. And I’m thankful that God can and will judge Judas’ heart, judging it right…just as He will judge the thief that hung on the cross next to Jesus.
