Insomnia....

Insomnia… Webster says it is a “prolonged and usually abnormal inability to obtain adequate sleep”. Seems like my inability to obtain adequate sleep has become pretty normal….

I remember being chastised for sleeping too much. Still asleep at noon on Saturday, my folks complained loudly, ‘You are sleeping your life away!’

I can’t sleep til midnight sometimes now, much less noon !

So I get up and continue to reflect on the next section of Psalm 119 and look what I find….


“Lord, I call out to You with all my heart. Answer me, and I will obey Your orders.
I call out to You. Save me, and I will keep Your covenant laws.

I get up before the sun rises. I cry out for help. I've put my hope in Your Word.

My eyes stay open all night long. I spend my time thinking about Your promises.

Listen to me, because You love me. Lord, keep me alive as You have promised.
Those who think up evil plans are near. They have wandered far away from Your law.

But Lord, You are near. All Your commands are true.

Long ago I learned from Your covenant laws that You made them to last forever.”
(Psalm 119:145-152)


It brings a smile to my heart that He is so sweet in His perfect timing. He speaks. On time. Every time.

On sleepless nights, my brain bounces back and forth with all the concerns of my life. I discuss it with Him, complain to Him, whine to Him…

And every single time, if I will just go to His Word…..every single time, if I will just shush my spirit and listen….

He speaks.

He is near. All His words are true and eternal.

I must just keep my hope in that Word and focus on His promises….they do indeed last forever.


Now…..let’s get some sleep !!!

Try.....

Try…. Over and over. Again and again.

I get tired of trying. Don’t you?

It is so tempting to just throw down the towel and say ‘forget it’.

Sometimes, I just don’t want to care anymore…just wish I could NOT care.

But I have prayed so many times for God to use me. I have asked Him to help me submit myself to Him, that He could do His work thru me, ministering to others.

As I continue to reflect on Psalm 119 I read “ My zeal wears me out, for my enemies ignore your words.” (v. 139)

My zeal. There lies the problem…

It is not about me…. I know this. I have had to re-take this course over and over, again and again. I am not the one who gets a single thing accomplished in another person’s life. Ever.

He asks me to follow. Not navigate or drive….


"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am.

Don't run from suffering; embrace it.

Follow me and I'll show you how.

Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self.

What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?
What could you ever trade your soul for?

"If any of you are embarrassed over me and the way I'm leading you when you get around your fickle and unfocused friends, know that you'll be an even greater embarrassment to the Son of Man when he arrives in all the splendor of God, his Father, with an army of the holy angels.

( The words of Jesus, Mark 8:34-38 The Message)

Lord Jesus, forgive me as I again get out of the driver’s seat.

Entrance...

Entrance… You can’t get ‘in’, without one…

As I continue to reflect on Psalm 119, this verse draws me.

“The entrance of Your Words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.” (v. 130)

The truth here is profound.

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist.

All you have to be is sincere. He fills in any deficiency.

I’ve heard people say they can’t understand the Bible, so they don’t read it. I’ve said it myself.

I didn’t understand it because it didn’t say anything I wanted to hear. I didn’t understand it because it clashed with my rationale. I didn’t understand it because it was not logical.

One thing I have learned, and I know that I know this….His Holy Spirit is capable and willing, even eager to teach. He teaches us where we are….super intelligent or simple. We don’t become scholars overnight, we become and remain students of His as long as there is a today.

Another thing I have learned, and I know that I know, God is not bound by my human logic. Or yours.

But when His Words enter our discussions and into our thoughts, when we truly consider what He has said, light bulbs will come on.

The problem with light is that the brighter it shines, the more dust and cobwebs you can see. And when it is God’s Light shining, we see where we don’t measure up, we miss being perfect and holy by a zillion miles…..

And we have a very real enemy poised to pounce and accuse.

Let Him give you light. He provides understanding to a heart that is undivided in its motive.

Read His Word.

And as you do, never forget that every word is overflowing with love for YOU. And every word is meant for your greater good. And mine…

Every word… Even to the point that “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us….” He stepped out of glory for you….into a dying body of flesh, even to the point of a horrible death He loved you…

Let His Word give you light….you may be surprised just how dark it is where you are.

Do something....

Do something… Ever be in some life situation where you feel like somebody just needs to DO something? Waiting is not one of my virtues, I don’t do it easily.

Waiting while a hurricane named Irene crept up the east coast toward where our kids live was not an easy wait. But wait we did, and I couldn’t do a single thing. Even though my mind was screaming ‘Do something!!!’….I could not. Doing something is not always the right thing. Sometimes waiting IS the thing to 'do'.

There have been times that I answered that screaming from within to ‘do something’…only to wish I HAD just waited. The ‘something’ that I did….it was the wrong thing.

I complain to God quite often about his in-action. I want him to ‘DO something!!’

I want Him to do something about so many things.

I want Him to fix what I messed up.
I want Him to intervene in wrong behavior.
I want Him to stop corruption.
I want Him to withhold blessings from people I consider not worthy.
I want Him to punish those I judge guilty.
I want Him to make my life easier.

And as I sit this morning reflecting on Psalm 119 again, and I type out those words, I am so thankful that He isn’t at my command. I’d just mess some more stuff up and make my life far from easier. He is God. And I am not.


“Make sure that everything goes well with me….Help me to understand what is right….
LORD, it's time for you to act. People are breaking your law……I love your commands…I consider all of your rules to be right. So I hate every path that sinners take….”
(Psalm 119:22-28)

I identify with the Psalmist…. ‘me, me, me..’

I again and again go to Him to ask that everything go right with me. Usually after I have failed at taking care of it myself. I pray the hardest when it is a matter I am powerless to ‘do something’ about.

I too consider His rules to be right. He is the Creator. He engineered, designed, and produced all that is reality to me. Even my self.

I too detest the path of sin. I know it from choosing it. I learned from experience that He commands for very good reasons.

And I too say to Him, “Lord, ‘do something!!’…people are breaking Your law !!”


And I find myself so thankful that He waits for HIS time and only then does He ‘do something’.

I can be assured that it will be the best time and the best thing.

Storm...

Storm… Webster calls it a rushing violent wind. A violent assault on a fortified place.

As I sit and watch a hurricane headed toward the east coast of the United States, threatening New York City, I wonder why we convince ourselves that we are fortified against a breeze, much less a storm.

It’s a lie.

“You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above..”(the words of Jesus as recorded in John 19:11)

We have no power that is not granted to us by The Hand that controls the nature He created.

I fully understand there is a science of air flow, pressures, cold and hot atmospheres….all of these things contribute to how these storms form and move. But that does not change the fact that it is God's science, He is The Scientist !

“For He spoke and stirred up a tempest that lifted high the waves.
They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths; in their peril their courage melted away.
They reeled and staggered like drunken men; they were at their wits' end.
Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble…..” (Psalm 107:25-28)

Then...THEN they cried out to Him. Isn't that always the way it is with us?

Did He send this hurricane? Good question.

I know one thing without question. He can stop or control it. He speaks and it is. Period.

Will He? Obviously not. It is happening.

What will the response be?

It is during times of threat beyond our capacity to control that we historically turn to Him.

My prayer is for safety, especially for those I love. But I also pray that some person who has never really turned to Him, never felt a real need for Him…would seek Him in a new, more real, more honest, and more complete way than ever before.

“ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”(Jeremiah 29:13)


I pray that this storm will be used by God to prepare people for a new beginning, with HIM at the center. When He is center, the eye of any storm has no power to threaten us, can never take away the calm and peace of a heart inhabited by His Spirit.

Hallelujah.

Metal...

Metal… What kind of metal are you made of?

When I was younger, I remember older people talking about someone’s character and use that phrase. ‘We’ll see what kind of metal he/she is made of’.

When the fire gets hot and the testing comes….you do indeed find out what kind of metal you are made of.

I don’t know a lot about metal working. I know that a new iron skillet is awful when it’s new…it needs to be heated and oiled, ‘seasoned’, before it is useful for cooking.

I know that silver has to be heated so that the ‘dross’ comes to the surface and is removed, leaving the silver pure and beautiful.

This morning as I continue my reading of Psalm 119, I come to this…


“All the wicked of the earth you discard like dross; therefore I love your statutes.
My flesh trembles in fear of you; I stand in awe of your laws.” (v. 119,120)

Dross is discarded.

I reflect back on my life and I can see times of heated testing, and can be thankful for those very painful times. Now. Certainly not then. Refining is not pleasant. But it is necessary.

My God is holy and perfect. Everything and every one else is just simply not. We fall so far short of perfection, and we are so incapable of fixing that problem.

I too find myself in awe of His law, of His perfection. I too tremble when I see my imperfect sinful self compared to His holiness.


“Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.
Uphold me, and I will be delivered.” (v. 16,17)

He is the only hope I have. His upholding me is my only chance of deliverance. “You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.” (v. 114)

Dark...

Dark… Walking around in the dark is dangerous. You can veer off of where you intend to walk. You never know what is there…could be a hole, something to trip over, a snake in the grass…..


It is wise to use a light. When you have light, you dispel darkness….you are able to see.

Scripture uses the concept of light/darkness often. As I continue to reflect on Psalm 119, I come to one of my favorite verses. “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” (v. 105)

God’s Word, what He has said, is the light that reveals the dangers we encounter. When we use His Light, we are able to see those things and escape harm. We can see where we need to walk, avoid falling into a pit, tripping up, falling and getting hurt. We can avoid the snake lying ready to strike…..

And he is there.

Are you able to see?

I confess with the psalm writer. “I keep putting my life in danger.” And I purpose that
“I won't forget to obey your law.”(v.109)

What God says, He has very good reason for. There is a snake…